Done with This

Okay I'm done with this blog, I'm now going to use livejournal. Here's my new blog.

School is dumb

I've been tired all day, for no real reason. I mean I got about 7 hours of sleep and didn't do much out of the ordinary, though my modern class was really hard. Oh well. Anyways school is kicking my ass, not because it's too hard or time consuming or anything but because they make it their jobs here in the dance dept to keep us here for-fucking-ever. They suddenly implemented a rule that kinesiology must be taken before composition and performance, which sucks for anyone who wasn't planning on that. Before this point kines wasn't a prerequisite for anything, it just needed to be done by graduation. Anyways this luckily won't set me back, but it did change my plans and a lot of people will end up staying an extra year over this. How can they suddenly make something a prereq? I always thought whatever your catalog said was what you had to do, but apparently this change is applied to everyone from now on. What the hell?

Luckily I was able to dodge this bullet sent my way but every week my plans change again and again and I get more and more frustrated and worried I won't graduate on time. I love it here, but I ONLY plan to be here for four years and then move on with my life. Seriously guys.

Lonely Sundays

I woke up today feeling really sad. At first I couldn't figure out why but then I realized I've felt his way every Sunday for the past month or so. Basically it's because I'm lonely on Sundays, since I wake up (assuming I was in Austin) and Chris goes to work at 10, then I drive home by myself and spend the day and night at my apartment alone. This never used to bother me, in fact I've always loved having my own apartment with no one else and spending time alone. I even loved the drives to and from Austin, because I got to enjoy the scenery and be alone with my thoughts and choose the music and so forth. So why the change now? I have no idea. I talked to Chris and he made me feel a lot better, but I still have to wonder why I'm suddenly feeling like this and what I can do about it. I know I need to do something, because this morning I seriously felt like shit. I didn't even wanna get out of bed, and I was dreading driving back to Denton. This won't do because I drive to and from Austin a lot, also being sad sucks. At least there's only a month and a half left of school and then I'm back to my family and Chris.

New Post...after a long long time

So I haven't written in a while. Spring Break was okay, the weekends were fun but the week of Spring Break was lame and lonely. Also I had to go to the dentist and I have cavities:-( But it'll be okay.

I'm watching a story about some 20 somethings who were on a trip and there was an accident. Two girls who looked very similar were injured, one dying and one living. However their identities were confused so the family of the surviving daughter was told she was dead and the family of the girl who died was told their daughter lived. So for 5 months everyone involved thought this was the case, 5 MONTHS! My question is, and I of course in no way mean to insult the families especially after all they've been through, but how in the world could a mother look at someone who isn't their daughter for 5 months and think it's her daughter? Seriously a mother knows her child and it's just too hard for me to believe. Also how did they finally discover the truth? This seems too bizarre to me. I think denial played a large part here, the family that had actually lost their daughter wanted to believe she was still alive so badly that they clung onto this other girl. I know the two girls looked alike, but again you should know and recognize your own flesh and blood. This is just so bizarre.

Anyways I am excited for this weekend, should be awesome! I plan to party!

Pre-Spring Break

This weekend was fun, my mom came to visit. We saw 'The Other Boleyn Girl' which was soooo good and got pedicures at the fanciest nail salon I've ever seen. It was nice. I had that big history test today that was postponed from the weather and it went well. I think. Who knows? I was able to write a lot, I just hope it was all correct and not just rambling. Lol. We'll see. Also apparently my summer plans are fucked so I need to fix that. Ugh life.

But on an AWESOME note Chris is come to visit on Thursday then Saturday we're going to Austin! Yay I love him!

Good Snow Day

So today is an AWESOME DAY!!! I had a huge history test at 2 today that I didn't feel prepared for at ALL and while I was desperately trying to cram in the library an announcement came on saying that all classes were canceled from 2 on. It pretty much felt like God, mother nature, and whoever else there is were all shining down on me and giving me a break. It was amazing. So I rushed home and enjoyed the snow day. Normally I'm not a fan but seeing as it made things so awesome for me I'm pretty pleased with snow today. It's coming down really hard and we're supposed to have 6-8 inches by tonight. It's already several inches thick. It's really beautiful, I took a bunch of pics including pictures of Emma in the snow. She liked it at first but then got tired of it. BEST DAY EVER!!

Bad Snow Day

So I just walked home in the snow, how crazy! It was aggressive snow too, not nice flakes lightly floating to the ground. Andrea was with me and we tried to shield ourselves with an umbrella but it didn't work. I actually got stabbed in my eye several times from the snow and when I got home I was soaking from head to toe. It is a lot nicer being home watching the snow from inside than being in it. Hopefully school will be canceled tomorrow.

I took Emma outside into the snow and she seemed mostly confused but didn't hate it. Maybe she's a snow cat. Snow is very pretty but as I've learned dangerous to the eyes.

Hump Day

So let's see, what is new with me? Well I'm starting physical therapy again today because my knees just aren't getting any better. Hopefully this will help. Also this morning I had my modern dance midterm which went really well! I really fucked up the pre-midterm phrase (whoever heard of that anyway) so I'm so happy this one went well. Ellie was actually close to tears when we were done because she said it was so beautiful, that's pretty good if I do say so myself.

I also had a math test today, not sure how that went. It was really hard so we'll see. I can't wait for this weekend; going to Austin and shopping on the drag with Cara! Also I might be going to a formal at Sammy's co-op, that would be fun too. Also I get to see Chris, we didn't see each other last weekend because he had a pharmacy interview in Houston. Also no Jazz tomorrow so that means fun restaurant time with my girls!

Jewelry and Coats

Well I'm back in Denton after a weekend with thah grandparents. It was fun, yesterday morning my mom and I went to a jewelry party (just like the makeup party I went to a few weeks ago but selling jewelry) at my Aunt's house and my mom bought me a necklace and earrings. Then we went to this fancy store in Crockett, which I thought for sure everything would be too expensive but they were having a 75% off sale so I got a new brown houndstooth coat, yay for new coats! Then I watched 'I Am Legend' with my brother, which was so sad! I had no idea it would be so sad and I wasn't really in the mood for a sad movie either. It was good though. Then my brother decided to make a bunch of paper airplanes so he looked up a website with lots of very complex paper airplanes and I helped him make them. That was fun. Now I'm here again and my toilet won't flush, hasn't since Thursday so that definitely needs to get fixed tomorrow. Ugh. At least my landlord is awesome and fixes things the day you call. I'm meeting people from modern to practice our midterm phrase today at 6. Hope it's not cold out.

Scene Shop Doom

So I'm standing up in Wooten Hall at a computer about to go to Scene Shop and dreading it. I skipped all last week, mostly because I had better things to do (including free IHOP pancakes!) and now I have to start going again. It's so awful there, everyone acts like you're in their way and you're useless because you don't know how to do anything, yet they don't wanna take the time to show you how because that would waste their time. Um...yeah real smart. Believe me I wouldn't be there (I bet none of the dancers would) if I wasn't required to go for 60 hours a semester, so they can cut the attitude. If they don't want us there and we don't wanna be there, why doesn't someone just decide we don't have to go anymore. Win win. The only reason we have to anyways is to use us as slave labor instead of paying extra people to ever do work for any of the dance of theater shows. Lame. Jenn, are you with me? BTW I'm calling you Jenn now if you don't mind. Bye!

Yeeeeessss...

So the schedule of classes for next semester is out, and you know what that means...planning and making lists, only my two fave things! I'm such a dork, but I lovvvve to plan out classes for the upcoming semester. I love it.

I wanna take ballet, modern, tap, kinesiology, music analysis, stage production (those are the dance classes), comm 1010, and US government. Btw I love US government. A lot. With this schedule I'll have only dance classes on MWF and on Friday's I'll only have modern which rocks! It also means more Thursday parties, yay! I hope this schedule actually will work, because everytime I go for advising with Teresa she mixes up my whole schedule, but that's usually because I don't realize there are certain prerequisites for classes I wanna take that haven't been completed. In this case though I've got them done so it shouldn't be a problem. Hello awesome Fall semester.

New Week

So Valentine's was great! On Thurs I ate at Bari's with my favorite girls, and Friday Chris came to visit. It was so nice, he brought me beautiful flowers, we ate at Macaroni Grill and then saw 'Definitely, Maybe'. Then we drank pink champagne:-)

Yesterday I ushered for the FDC, which I also saw on Saturday. I liked it, but it definitely wasn't as good as last year. Hopefully next year I'll be in it! On another not Tyra's show is really starting to borderline trashy talk show. How sad.

The apartment next to mine is being renovated so the tenants moved into the apartment above mine, and that's been hell. The renovation is really loud, they even worked this weekend! And this new family above me is also really loud, mostly from them running around and banging on things. On Saturday before Chris left town we heard knocking on the door above us for about 20 minutes, and then when we were leaving we saw a man climbing in the window. That was scary and I considered calling the police but a girl was letting him in and it didn't seem unwanted. Still that was scary, I went back to my apartment and immediately made sure all the windows were locked. Luckily nothing happened.

Also I apparently have a mid-term paper due tomorrow for ballet which Ellie hasn't mentioned once to the class. WTF?

National Free Pancake Day

...is awesome! I had myself some great pancakes today- foh free! How fun. Ugh it's getting cold again after a short break, which I was really enjoying! I loooooove warm weather, it feels like Austin, which is my heart.

I'm going out with my girls for dinner on Thursday and spending the weekend with Chris, which I'm very excited about. Girls night is always fun. On Friday I'll get to wear my new dress which is super sexy.

So I'm really falling behind in stage production hours, I need to get on that. Stat.

This Weekend

...was really good. Yesterday the weather was gorgeous, sunny but not humid. Chris and I walked around the drag and it was so pretty. It's been awhile since I spent such a beautiful day outside, it was so nice. I bought a really cute pink dress from Strut which I'm going to wear to Valentine's dinner and a sundress that was on sale at Manju's, which was awesome. When we walked past Burger King on Guadalupe there was a big protest being held which was entertaining to watch. Basically Burger Kind pays their tomato pickers shit, and many other fast food companies have committed to paying their workers reasonable and fair wages, while Burger King hasn't. It was so Austin, lol. Hopefully the protest worked and Burger King will pay their employees fairly. Who knows what will happen?

Yesterday morning I went to a spa thing which was selling Beauti Control makeup and spa products. That was fun, very relaxing and my mom bought me some cool new stuff. So all in all I really scored on new loot yesterday. Yeeeeeesss.

I'm still super excited about Valentine's Day, especially with my new dress now. I know a lot of people aren't dating anyone so they don't wanna even think about Valentine's Day, but I've always loved it, even when I was single. Like Halloween, it's just a fun day that you can really get into. When I have been single on V-day my girls and I got dressed up and went to dinner, which was so fun! I would recommend that to someone without a date because I thought it was a blast. Either way I can't wait!

I go to court tomorrow and get this ticket stuff taken care of and out of my life forever! God this has been ridiculous and annoying.

Valentine's Day

I can't wait for Valentine's Day! I love all the cutesy stuff, and I love Chris so much. He's the love of my life and my best friend. I can't wait!

This Week So Far

Moe and I went to the alcohol class last night...got there 30 mins late:-( The address was on E. Oak St and I turned onto E. Oak street not knowing that immediately after that sign it turns into W. Oak. Anyways it took FOREVER to find the class, but luckily they had just been doing paperwork for the first 30 mins so we were let in. This week is very busy with the class and completing my community service. I'm going today to the Carriage House, an elderly home in Denton, and I'm looking forward to it. Moe said she liked it, and I always get along great with older people.

Man dance is hard on my body! I'm sore all the time, and whenever I stand up after laying down my muscles are really sore and I feel old. Ugh.

Tonight's the conclusion of the alcohol class, which is pretty interesting. This old guy teaches it and he has a lot of funny analogies for drinking and whatnot, so all in all it's not bad. Costs $50 though, which sucks. And the ticket itself costs $360. I'm going broke over this.

Some People are FUCKING Disgusting!

Okay I'm watching the Miss America 2008 pageant and the top ten contestants were asked questions previously filmed from people on the street, and one of the questions was "If someone is HIV positive are they obligated to tell their fiance?" My reaction to that is ...WHAT THE FUCK??!! What kind of person would even ponder that, OF COURSE you have to tell your partner!!! OMG are there actually people in this world that think it's okay to expose your loved ones (or anyone for that matter) to a potentially fatal, and incurable disease without even TELLING THEM? I'm so disgusted. What the hell is wrong with this world?

Strange New Realizations

This weekend got me to think about a lot of stuff. I realized how much my distant relationship with my family affects me and molds me as a person. We get along but there's hardly any emotional connection, which I crave. I don't really know what can be done about that, but I need to come to peace with it I guess. I also realized that I expect things from people which is often unrealistic. I generally treat others how I want to be treated, which I always thought was the key to mutual respect and whatnot, but I guess not. No matter how well I might treat others, I have no control over how they treat me, which sucks.

I do feel however that while I shouldn't expect as much as I do from the people in my life I can still expect a few things. For example, I think with my family, friends, and my boyfriend it should be a balance of give and take. I want to make an effort to keep in touch, and invite them to spend time together, and I want them to do that as well. It sucks to have 'friends' who never call you or invite you to anything, and at a certain point it stops feeling like a friendship and turns into a loose acquaintance. I'm a person who values friendships and relationships very much and I believe that they take work. It seems that a lot of people don't want to put any work in, and they're left without real friends. That is heartbreaking to me. I guess this is something I need to work on, but I see this as being really hard. I need to find a good balance between not expecting too much or too little. Maybe I should ask someone who has more answers than me.

Tomorrow and Tuesday I have to go to an alcohol class and I need to finish my community service for my beyond stupid MIP ticket I got last semester. My word can you imagine college students drinking alcohol?! And walking with a group of friends to a local dance club?! How horrible the world has become...
yeah give me a fucking break.

Too Tired To Live

So basically everyday this semester I've been exhausted. Apparently it's an epidemic with the dance majors, all of my friends are going through the same thing. I hate it! From the moment I wake up I'm already tired and by my first class I'm exhausted. I used to be able to dance 8 hours a day and feel fine, but not anymore! I dance about 5 hours a day along with my other classes, and it's draining the life out of me. Last semester I partied almost every Thursday and now I just don't have the energy for that. I feel so old.

Today has SUCKED so far

This morning pretty much sucked. I found out that during the ballet class I missed yesterday they did a technique eval which is 20% of the total grade and so I basically get a zero for that. I explained to Ellie (teacher) that my alarm hadn't gone off, and the news last night said that 75,000 people were without power yesterday due to the fucking 50 mph winds, but she didn't care. So now making all A's is definitely shot, I'll be lucky now if I even make a B.

So after that I performed my modern pre-midterm phrase and I guess being upset about ballet got to me because I did the shittiest job ever. I hate that I let emotional stuff affect other aspects of my life like this, but I'm such an honest, open person who thrives on emotions and feelings so that's really hard. How can I separate myself from such a big part of me in order to dance well, when dancing in itself is extremely emotional and vulnerable. I need to learn to use my anger or whatever I'm feeling as energy to relate through dance. Damn what a shitty morning...

Very Nice Morning

I guess my power went out in the night or something cause my alarm never went off and I slept through ballet. Not the best thing, but oh well everyone could use the morning off. Now I don't have class until 12:30 (Jazz). Also it's incredibly windy, the news was saying something about record-breaking wind last night and I believe it. It's so strong it's making that whirring sound, but also the sun is out and I'm sitting in my room with the windows open a little so it's very nice. I haven't had a nice morning like this in a long long time.

I'm watching Celebrity Rehab which I have mixed feelings about. To some extent I like the concept of the show, but I mostly feel this is a serious matter that doesn't need to be televised. These people are going through horrible times and need to change their lives and having their every moment televised on VH1 can't be helpful. It does serve to help the public see the serious and raw nature of addiction, but I doubt many people will watch this that are addicts and change their ways.

Mostly I think this show is just interesting to people such as myself that have no addictions, and therefore isn't really helping the problem at all. I feel the same way about that show intervention, same concept. Sometimes things they talk about on Dr. Phil and whatnot when people are dealing with abuse and emotional distress, again I wonder if their problems being televised for the world to see can really help them. Sometimes it's good to air these issues to serve as a public service announcement, but for the most part these people could probably benefit more from private therapy or counseling.

A Whole New Year

So for the first time ever I made a New Year's resolution- to be healthier. I plan to cut out fast food and sodas, drink lots of water and hot tea, cut back on sweets and not snacking so much. I used to snack what seemed like constantly just out of habit and I've always had a major sweet tooth. I've done really well this past month and already feel better. With my knees still all screwed up I haven't gotten to work out very much (outside of my 15 hrs per week of dance) but hopefully I will soon. I'm also trying to work with portion control because I often eat way past being full because I don't wanna be wasteful but I know that's not healthy.

Future Goals: 1. Get healthier 2. Graduate in two years 3. Get married 4. Start having kids!!
Ah I have so much to look forward to, I can't wait! But also I'm enjoying the present.

I've been watching a lot of Law and Order shows lately that all have a main character who commits a crime 'because of TV/video games/music.' What bullshit. I enjoy watching Law and Order and shows like it as entertainment, but I've certainly never considered for one second committing a crime, especially one concerning hurting or taking from someone else (which seems to be the most sensational crimes). Now I agree that most of today's entertainment is vulgar and graphic, but as stable, sane human beings we should be able to watch and listen to these things while still understanding right and wrong. If someone commits a crime and they're mentally sane then that means that they knew it was wrong and did it anyway. All anyone has anymore is excuses for why they're never to blame. That is disgusting. Why does it seem like mankind is made up of mostly criminals or people who aspire to be? Whatever happened to love and morality?

Home Again

So I'm back in Denton, which is awesome. I love love love coming home to my apartment and having time to myself. Possibly next year or the year after I would wanna have roommates but for now living by myself rocks!

I'm watching Rock of Love 2 which is of course totally fake but very enjoyable. Pretty much about two weeks after the season finale of season one they started advertising season two, sad. I always wanna believe the star is really looking for love but I know it's all about reviving their careers. Does anyone remember that show Strange Love that Flava Flav and Brigitte Nelson starred in right after they did Surreal Life, I guess that show really kicked off the whole celebrity dating show craze. Seriously how many of these shows can they make?! Anyways they're still fun to watch...

First Blog

All right so I'm gonna try this blog deal, hopefully it'll be an honest outlet for my thoughts. I don't care who does or doesn't read this, that's up to you. I'm a pretty honest person and for the most part don't filter my words, although not everything will be on here since this is the internet! So here we go...

Well I spent the weekend in Austin. Pretty fun, except I was sick for most of Saturday (headache and stomachache:-( I also spent most of this past week sick, like most of UNT was, so that sucked. It wasn't a great start to the semester to already be missing classes in the second week. My goal is to make all A's this semester, which is attainable as long as my attendance is good, that's usually what takes me from an A to a B.

This upcoming week should be good, I have to write a critique of the Alvin Ailey dance show and do some small assignments but that's about it. I also have to start going to scene shop which will be a huge waste of my time. Ugh 60 hours a semester of manual labor for ONE credit hour?! Who comes up with this shit? Any hopes I might have had of getting a job this semester is definitely shot, with my 18 hours of classes on top of scene shop. At least I have a sweet gig set up for the summer- cashiering at a pool for the Austin Aquatics Dept. $10.50/hr and I hardly have to do anything! Dream job.

So I've been getting into My Fair Brady and reading Adrianne Curry's blog. Now that is an honest who-gives-a-fuck what I say kind of blog, which makes for good reading. I find it hard to put that much of myself out there though, she's brave. I think the concept of having cameras following your relationship around 24/7 is probably extremely destructive for the relationship and also just a crazy concept all together. If cameras followed Chris and me around for a few months they'd definitely catch some big fights that they would then manipulate into us suddenly being a horrible couple or something, but guess what after you've been together for over three years you're going to fight sometimes no matter what! I think the entire point of these shows is to show the drama and unhappiness that is inevitable, but never show the love. Not that I would ever be asked to do a show like that or any show lol, but I would never agree to it, it's a relationship ruiner. I feel like to a large extent our society encourages people to end their relationship and commitments to each other at the first sign of trouble. I also think our society teaches that if your relationship isn't happy 24/7 then it's not a good one. That is such crap. Relationships take work and I think what more couples should do is accept that not every moment will be happy but cherish those that are. Also I think if more couples went to counseling to try to save their union then relationships wouldn't be ending left and right. My parents are still married, as are both sets of my grandparents and I value that. I know not every relationship is meant to last but I think when you love someone you should take every effort to make it work.