This weekend got me to think about a lot of stuff. I realized how much my distant relationship with my family affects me and molds me as a person. We get along but there's hardly any emotional connection, which I crave. I don't really know what can be done about that, but I need to come to peace with it I guess. I also realized that I expect things from people which is often unrealistic. I generally treat others how I want to be treated, which I always thought was the key to mutual respect and whatnot, but I guess not. No matter how well I might treat others, I have no control over how they treat me, which sucks.
I do feel however that while I shouldn't expect as much as I do from the people in my life I can still expect a few things. For example, I think with my family, friends, and my boyfriend it should be a balance of give and take. I want to make an effort to keep in touch, and invite them to spend time together, and I want them to do that as well. It sucks to have 'friends' who never call you or invite you to anything, and at a certain point it stops feeling like a friendship and turns into a loose acquaintance. I'm a person who values friendships and relationships very much and I believe that they take work. It seems that a lot of people don't want to put any work in, and they're left without real friends. That is heartbreaking to me. I guess this is something I need to work on, but I see this as being really hard. I need to find a good balance between not expecting too much or too little. Maybe I should ask someone who has more answers than me.
Tomorrow and Tuesday I have to go to an alcohol class and I need to finish my community service for my beyond stupid MIP ticket I got last semester. My word can you imagine college students drinking alcohol?! And walking with a group of friends to a local dance club?! How horrible the world has become...
yeah give me a fucking break.
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