This morning pretty much sucked. I found out that during the ballet class I missed yesterday they did a technique eval which is 20% of the total grade and so I basically get a zero for that. I explained to Ellie (teacher) that my alarm hadn't gone off, and the news last night said that 75,000 people were without power yesterday due to the fucking 50 mph winds, but she didn't care. So now making all A's is definitely shot, I'll be lucky now if I even make a B.
So after that I performed my modern pre-midterm phrase and I guess being upset about ballet got to me because I did the shittiest job ever. I hate that I let emotional stuff affect other aspects of my life like this, but I'm such an honest, open person who thrives on emotions and feelings so that's really hard. How can I separate myself from such a big part of me in order to dance well, when dancing in itself is extremely emotional and vulnerable. I need to learn to use my anger or whatever I'm feeling as energy to relate through dance. Damn what a shitty morning...
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